


A Report Written By Wheeljack

by Optronix



Series: Reports From The Autobots [3]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Explosions, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Gen, Humor, Mission Reports, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optronix/pseuds/Optronix
Summary: Wheeljack is responsible for blowing up the laboratory... again.  One would think he'd run out of excuses by this time in his life, but no.  He's still got a couple in the tank in order to spread the blame around.





	A Report Written By Wheeljack

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.

INCIDENT REPORT FORM [PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS THE ACCIDENT REPORT FORM]

REPORTER: Wheeljack

AREA OF INCIDENT: Laboratory

CAUSE OF INCIDENT: Bad chemical reaction mixed with a few things shorting out

WAS THERE BODILY HARM DUE TO INCIDENT: Yes

IF YES, WHO WAS HARMED: Perceptor

IF YES, WERE THEY TAKEN TO THE MEDBAY: Yes

IF YES, PLEASE FILL OUT GENERAL REPORT (See attached):

 

GENERAL REPORT FORM

(Use only if no other report option is applicable)

DEPARTMENT: Science!

REPORTER: Wheeljack

SUPERVISOR OF REPORTER: Me.

START TIME: 14:26:43

END TIME: 15:11:09

INCENDENT: Still a bad chemical reaction mixed with a few things shorting out, things exploding and whatnot – the usual.

DESCRIPTION OF INCENDENT (Be as detailed as possible):

So, I’ve been working on a new project. The nature of the project is still a work-in-progress, but here’s that I’ve got planned out so far:

Remember last week when the Decepticons attacked that power station, but we didn’t have a fast-enough reaction time and missed the battle? See, I got the idea from that movie we watched during a couple of weeks ago, you know the one with the tornado? Oh, what was it called… The one with the machine that would help predicte the path of the tornado, that helped chart the thing and all… I think it started with a T… TWISTER! That one! With the pretty human lady! See, humans have a way to predict natural disasters, so I was thinking we should be able to do the same thing! Try and follow me here:

I’ve been looking through the records of Decepticon attacks within the last year, their location, and the response time to get to the battle site – now this doesn’t include stake-outs, traps, setups, or those times when Prime’s been like, “Megatron, face me!” The average response time for us Autobots (vehicles) to get to a battlefield is 36.352 minutes; the average aerial response time is naturally shorter at 11.504 minutes. Factored in is average human traffic, weather and road conditions, along with human speed limits on major roadways. Surprisingly, I have found that certain groupings of Autobots have quite an influence on response times. If Prowl is among the group, the response is generally below average, same with Optimus. However, if Sideswipe is among the group, response times are slightly above average. If Cliffjumper and Mirage are in the same group, the response time drastically increases (presumably because they’re fighting, which everyone tries to break them up with lots of yelling and threats of getting shot). But if Jazz is among the group, the group then has a drastically below average response time – at around 23.42 minutes. Amazing, isn’t it?!

With all that in mind, I’ll get to my most recent invention. 

So, the goal is to be able to create a machine that can quickly calculate all this out, so we can have the best response time to an attack. The machine would select the best route, the team that would have the lowest response time for that battle, and in time, be able to calculate other factors in as well! But see, the big issue is that I got a little ahead of myself… which is why the lab is once again black and is vaguely smelling like a bad barbeque.

As I calculated all this, programing everything into a small machine I had built, I may have over done it on the power I fed to the little guy. I thought I had put in a higher quality converter and set of transistors that I actually did – so they would have been able to handle this kind of power. But I’ve decided that I grabbed the wrong ones… and… well, this started an unfortunate, unstoppable chain of events that lead me to be filling out this report… again.

Perceptor was over in his part of the lab working on a chemical compound that was going to be added to formula he was working on. The flask was over a small flame warming as a machine gently stirred it. A different solution was being titrated into the flask, a drop every few seconds. (He’s been titrating all week now, and I’ve noticed that’s the average time he’s set for his titrations, two or three seconds). So, when the machine I was working on overloaded and exploded (mind you, this was a small explosion in retrospect), the fuses blew to everything else in the room. The flame beneath the flask died and the stirring stopped, but the solution kept on dripping into the flask below.

That was really, really, really bad.

The worst part of it was neither of us noticed. If one of use had noticed, the second explosion could probably have been avoided – but I was trying to figure out why my invention exploded, and Perceptor was typing away at his personal monitor. Now I’m not quite certain what solutions and compounds he was playing with, but clearly nothing good as the lab is, once again, a disaster – which is kinda my fault, but Perceptor should have been watching over his titration since it was clearly unstable!

Anyway, after about thirty seconds, the solution in the flask combusted. 

And I’m sure you’re wondering why the bang was so big… and that’s because someone left the dynamite sticks out from a different project. Someone didn’t put them away. But this kind of dynamite didn’t have as much bang for its buck as other compounds we’ve developed. As of right now, Perceptor’s got some nasty chemical burns and I’m back to smelling like burnt toast – which is pretty normal if I’m honest.

I guess the lesson here today is to make sure people pick up after themselves, so things don’t explode so big. 

I’d also like to submit a request for the next mechs who would get thrown in the brig to instead clean the black explosion residue from the lab walls, floor, and ceiling. That would be greatly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a series I'm working on, Autobots writing reports. I thought it would be a cool platform for telling a story, a report; plus I've been wanting to play around with first person POV within the Transformers universe.
> 
> While classes are throwing so much information at me, this little idea bit me. I haven't been able to function properly because I needed to write it! XD
> 
> I must apologize for the vague "solutions" and "compounds" mentioned; science is not a passion of mine, so instead of making up elements/solutions or "just picking a few," I opted for vagueness since I couldn't hit scientific accuracy.
> 
> Drop a kudos or a comment if you've got a minute. You have no idea how much I smile when I get an email saying someone gave me kudos or commented.


End file.
